right now im so frustrated. arent i supposed to have people to turn to so i can talk to them? its real funnie how i really have no one to turn to. certain people i cant even talk to without someone getting mad. seriously i dont care anymore. theres so many things dat so many of you prove to me dat i shouldnt care about you. events from the past couple of days or weeks have led me to believe that most of you are fake! most of you arent worth caring for at all. in my face ur koo but behind my back all of u are fkd up in da head. if you think im sitting here stressing about it, im not..im jez happy dat i finally know whos true to me..and theres only 3 of you..wow..u guys kno who you are. its quite amazing dat me n mike can fight and fight and fight. soo many times but we can never be over each other. everyday is a new day, a new fight/arguement. and for you that kno wat happens or i happen to call during the event, thank you and dont worry about it.. =]  from fighting and arguing all the time, i firgured myself out and i learn so much from what some of you tell me. i am a "hot head" and i tend to blow up small situations into a "big deal" and dats y me n mike fight so much. but really, in order to change da way i am and da way i act sometimes, i need some of u to help me. i dont want to become this person with a bad temper my whole life, i cant be dat, and i wont be that. some people i need to learn to trust in order to move forward, but it is hard when i have no help from anyone and da ppl dat i do tend to go to, im sorta.."forbidden" to talk to. which may seem silly to most of you that dont kno da situation. although im never informed about things, i hear from other people, nd eh its quite funny. but anywayz.. i've pushed myself away from so many of you, dat you guys dont even kno da deal anymore. theres really one other person but mike dat kno wasup. i really dont care about whos reading this and whos judging wat i am saying, and i really dont care..honestly its a lot better for me to write things down n keep things to myself instead of telling it to some of you straight up dat ya'll are real dumb. i dont understand why some of us, including myself, get mad for real stupid shit. (im not gonna go into detail =]   )  i should always be thankful for the things dat you, mike, do for me, but im always worrying about da "what ifs" and all dis shit..i shouldnt blame you bcoz u really dont give me a reason not trust you, but so many people say shit to me n say "well hey u never know" which gets me to think. sometimes i wish all of u knew who he is and wat hes about and tell me to quit trippin all da time. anywayz...fo da ones dats been there thank you i really cant thank you enough. the conversations at any time of da day where i needed to talk and you were there..nd even tho u had some h/w u stayed on da fone jez to make me laugh.. =]  n fo my love, my moe-moe..sorry fo always blowin up at u fo stupid shit, and most definitely fo even hittin u da way i did. yeah i have a bad temper, and i am willing to change dat, but its hard to do it when ur constantly pushing my buttons. and to trina girl ur always proving to me dat u are da only female i can always go to. all da times i cried u were there to make me feel so much better about myself and da situation. u were always willling to do everything n say anything to make me smile even just a little bit. girl u proven to me dat YOU ARE DA ONLY female i can trust. and to mikey (moe-moe) and lindley i dont care about wat any1 has to say anymore. u guys have been there the most when i needed any1 da most. for being my friend a real good friend u deserve so much. u dont deserve da bullshit dat life will soemtimes throw at you. u guys have proven so much to me. thanx fo bein there thru da tears and da fears dat u guys helped me get over. thank you for caring no matter wat anyone said. thank you..my 3 true friends..which is quite FEW.. =]  u guys are da best..if i had all da money in da world, id buy u guys watever u wanted fo christmas, but i have umm like 40 cents in my wallet rite now coz spent all da money i had on presents on my family =]